Hire a Pigeon — Homingpost

Service Tier

Your Name (the sender)

Your Email

We will not, under any circumstance, send marketing emails. The pigeons would not understand.

Preferred Pigeon (optional)

Intended Recipient

An address is not required. The pigeon will not consult it.

Your Message

Maximum 2,000 characters. Heavier messages require heavier birds, which we cannot reliably furnish at all tiers.

Release Conditions

I understand that Homingpost makes no guarantee, express or implied, that this message will reach the intended recipient, the intended country, or, in many cases, the intended species. I release my bird in good faith.

This is a satire site. No pigeon will be released. No message will be transcribed. Submitting the form will not charge you.

DISPATCH CONFIRMED

Your bird has been entered into the queue.

At dawn tomorrow, — will be released from the eastern parapet of Pidgeon-Whittle House. The bird carries your message, calligraphed and sealed, addressed to —.

Order No. —

You will receive no further communication from us. The next time you think of this message will be sometime, somewhere, when something reminds you of the person to whom you sent it. That is the moment to know it is, by now, somewhere.

✦

Coo softly. Hope loudly.

(Reminder: this is a satire site. No actual dispatch has occurred.)

Compose. Choose. Release.

Your bird has been entered into the queue.