412 pigeons. 412 personalities. Zero visibility.

Meet the flock.

Every Homingpost pigeon has a name, a temperament, and a documented history of heading in the wrong direction with conviction. A small selection of our most celebrated dispatchers is below. The remaining 404 prefer their privacy.

Aloysius

Senior Dispatcher · Hatched 2019

Aloysius is the flock’s patriarch. He flies in calm, deliberate spirals, always counter-clockwise, and has been observed landing on the same chimney in Bradford for the past four years, regardless of dispatch destination. That family has, in response, named him Geoffrey.

1,447Releases
3Arrivals
NWPreferred bearing

Hortensia

Romance Specialist · Hatched 2021

Hortensia is the queen of our Romance Division and the singular reason our love-letter arrival rate stands, after independent audit, at a staggering 2.0% —a figure no one at Homingpost can satisfactorily explain. She has also been responsible for the start of four relationships between persons unknown to either sender or intended recipient. The staff’s favourite, without contest.

412Releases
8Confirmed arrivals
2.0%Love-letter rate

Mortimer

Heavy Despatcher · Hatched 2017

Mortimer is the largest bird in the flock and is reserved for matters of unusual weight, both literal and emotional. He has carried wedding rings, last wills, apologies of significant length, and on one memorable occasion in 2022, a complete set of jeweller’s loupes. None of these items arrived. Mortimer did.

289Releases
1Arrival
SPreferred bearing

Cordelia

Apprentice · Hatched 2024

Cordelia is our youngest active dispatcher. She has been released on six occasions and has returned, unharmed, every time, which our pigeonkeeper Henrik describes as “deeply unprofessional” and “something we will work on with her.” We are confident in her future as a Homingpost bird.

6Releases
0Arrivals
—Preferred bearing

Bramwell

The Stormbird · Hatched 2015

Bramwell only flies in weather of unusual difficulty. He refuses to leave the dovecote when the sky is clear. In 2022 he completed a release into a hailstorm, arrived at the home of a marine biologist in Tromsø, was treated with great kindness for eleven months, and returned with a thoughtful letter from her, which was the only piece of correspondence to arrive at Homingpost in that fiscal year.

71Releases
1Arrival (inbound)
NNWPreferred bearing

Pemberton

Returnee · Hatched 2012

Pemberton disappeared during a routine dispatch in 2018 and reappeared, six years and four months later, on the eastern parapet, exactly as he had left, except for a small brass key tied to his right leg. The key fits no lock at the dovecote. Pemberton has not been released since. He sits on Henrik’s shoulder during morning chores.

34Releases
1Unsolicited return
?Preferred bearing

Drusilla

Confessor · Hatched 2020

Drusilla is exclusively used for confessional correspondence. She has carried 188 confessions and has, by our records, never returned. We do not know where Drusilla goes. The senders, in nearly all cases, report a feeling of unburdening that arrived approximately three days after release. This is our highest customer satisfaction outcome.

188Releases
0Returns
—Last seen: 2024
1

Reginald III

Show Class · Hatched 2018

Reginald III is the great-grandson of the original Reginald (1923–1937), our longest-serving bird. He is reserved for our Show Racer tier and is, by some distance, the most photogenic pigeon in the flock. We have no documented evidence that he can fly more than 200 metres before becoming tired and walking the remainder.

96Releases
0Arrivals
↓Preferred bearing
z z Z

Thaddeus

Emeritus · Hatched 2008

Thaddeus is no longer dispatched and spends his days asleep in a hand-built basket in Eleanor’s office. He has been credited with eighteen confirmed deliveries during his career, which remains the all-time Homingpost record. We do not know how he did this. He does not appear to know either.

2,104Lifetime releases
18Lifetime arrivals
★Hall of Fame
✦

Customers using The Show Racer tier and above may request a specific bird at the time of dispatch. The requested bird may or may not be released. The pigeonkeeper’s decision is final.

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