Tiers of Service

Choose your degree of resignation.

Every tier includes the same fundamental guarantee: the bird will leave the dovecote. Higher tiers include more pigeons, finer parchment, and warmer condolences.

The Squab

Entry Class

$19/dispatch

A young pigeon, freshly trained, full of unearned confidence.

  • 1 blind pigeon
  • Foolscap parchment
  • Dawn release window
  • Wax-sealed legband
  • Acknowledgement of dispatch by mail
Choose The Squab

The Show Racer

Business Class

$199/dispatch

A magnificent specimen, prize-class, regrettably also blind.

  • 1 prize-class pigeon, named
  • Wax-sealed silver tube
  • Pre-release blessing by our chaplain
  • Tinted photograph of pigeon
  • Optional 21-second silence at dispatch
  • Choice of bird (subject to availability)
Choose The Show Racer

The Pidgeon-Whittle

White-Glove Vanishing

$999/dispatch

Our flagship service. For messages too sacred to deliver.

  • Dedicated pigeonkeeper for 6 months
  • 12 birds, released over a fortnight
  • Handwritten eulogy upon presumed loss
  • Inclusion in our Annual Memorial Coo
  • Lifetime visiting rights to the dovecote
  • Cup of warm tea on arrival, if applicable
Choose This Tier

Honest comparisons.

Feature Squab Tippler Show Racer Pidgeon-Whittle
Birds dispatched 1 3 1 (premium) 12
Probability of arrival ~0.04% ~0.12% ~0.06% ~0.48%
Hand-calligraphed ✓✓
Pre-release blessing
Choice of pigeon Yes* Yes
Eulogy upon loss
Annual Memorial Coo
Lifetime dovecote access

* Choice of pigeon is final and may, at the pigeonkeeper’s discretion, not be honoured if the chosen pigeon is “not in the mood,” as determined by Henrik.

Speciality Services

For occasions that do not fit a standard tier, we offer the following bespoke arrangements.

Bespoke · From $2,400

The Wedding Flight

Up to forty birds released simultaneously at the moment of the kiss. Not one will arrive at any of the guest addresses, but the photograph is spectacular and the guests have, in our experience, never noticed.

Bespoke · From $890

The Eulogy Bird

A single pigeon released at the conclusion of a memorial service, bearing a message from the bereaved to the departed. We will not deliver this message. We do not believe a courier is required for this route.

Bespoke · From $14,500

The Corporate Apology

A bulk dispatch of 250 birds bearing identical letters of corporate contrition. Each bird carries a personalised greeting calligraphed by a professional. None of the apologies will reach the customer base. The gesture is the apology.

Enquire about bespoke arrangements